Top Ten Movie Taglines

Sometimes the taglines for movies can be better than the movies themselves. Here are a few treasures:

Alien Poster

Alien: In space no one can hear you scream

 

Weekend at Bernie's Poster

Jaws 2 Poster

Jaws 2: Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water…

Armageddon Poster

Cobra Poster

Dazed and Confused Poster

Wayne's World Poster

Orcs Poster

Volcano Poster

Groundhog Day Poster

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Australian movies are depressing

Prior to any vacation I like to buff up on the more critically acclaimed movies of the country I’m visiting. Before going to Italy, I obviously had to dive into some Fellini. So naturally before going to Australia I thought it would be fitting to watch a bunch of the movies from down under. I watched the following movies:

There is a reason why Crocodile Dundee is probably the only one you’ve seen. The Dish and Kenny also didn’t make me want to blow my brains out. So based on my quick calculations, 80% of Australian movies are bleak as f*ck. They will weigh you down with a black despondency. Why do we exist on this godforsaken planet anyway? Of course I suppose Aussies can simply run out and go surfing on a pristine beach in the glorious sunshine after they watch these movies. I have to look outside at the gray Seattle skyline and ask myself, in utter despair, “My God WHY?”

I talked to a few Australians about this while I was there. Some even said they refuse to watch Australian movies for this very reason.

Feel similarly? Have more depressing movies to add to my list? Comment below!

First half of 2016

Wow we are already halfway into 2016 and I haven’t even posted yet. I guess that makes me the worst blogger ever. Without further ado…this is what Netflix and I have been up to lately:

Game of Thrones

Netflix summary: Originally airing on HBO, this live-action fantasy series — based on George R.R. Martin’s “A Song of Ice and Fire” novels — charts the violent efforts of competing noble families to gain control of the vacant Westeros throne.

★★★★ Holy shit you guys! I watched the first season of GOT but then stopped either because I couldn’t remember who everyone was by the second season, or because Khal Drogo died and I was like “what’s the point of this show anymore?” (I now follow Jason Momoa’s instagram account to sustain me) Anyway, after a lot of hype from friends, I decided to catch up. In the month of April I watched the ENTIRE six seasons. Basically back-to-back as soon as I got off work until I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer. I had to scroll super fast through social media to avoid spoilers. Pretty sure my muscles atrophied that month. But yes basically it is THE BEST thing to ever happen to me. The only real question I have is: how have you people been dealing with watching only one episode per week??

 

Age of Adaline

Netflix summary: After 29-year-old Adaline recovers from a nearly lethal accident, she inexplicably stops growing older. As the years stretch on and on, Adaline keeps her secret to herself — till she meets a man who changes her life.

★★★★ I’m not really into romantic movies but this one stands out. The cinematography, the costumes, Blake Lively’s beautiful fucking face, and most importantly the writing…all fantastic, IMHO. I didn’t even know this movie existed until Netflix was like “Yoooo watch dis.” Thanks Netflix! (Also free on Hulu and Amazon Prime but shhh don’t tell my bf). There are already quite a few movies out that that hypothesize on what it’d be like to not age (for example Tuck Everlasting) or age weird (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button). This movie was somehow more gut-wrenching for me. To be honest I watched it three times last week; what can I say, I’m in the target audience. #29yearoldwhitegirl

 

All the President’s Men

Netflix summary: The film that launched a thousand journalism school students, All the President’s Men chronicles how the work of reporters Bob Woodward (Robert Redford) and Carl Bernstein (Dustin Hoffman) contributed to the public downfall of President Richard M. Nixon. The duo connected a Washington, D.C., hotel break-in with a Nixon “dirty tricks” team assigned to discredit Democratic rivals, launching a series of tense events that forced Nixon to resign.

★★★★ Watched as part of my desperate effort to finish the Top 100 AFI list. It’s the third movie on the list with Dustin Hoffman (that I’ve seen) so clearly AFI loves the shit out of Dustin Hoffman. A suspenseful look into Watergate. Couldn’t stop saying “I am not a crook” in a Nixon voice the entire time.

 

Sullivan’s Travels

Netflix summary: Tired of churning out lightweight comedies, Hollywood director John L. Sullivan decides to make O Brother, Where Art Thou? a serious, socially responsible film about human suffering. After his producers point out that he knows nothing of hardship, Sullivan hits the road disguised as a hobo. En route to enlightenment, he meets a lovely but no-nonsense young woman and more trouble than he ever dreamed of.

★★★★ Was a little put off by the fact that Veronica Lake’s character doesn’t have a name and is simply referred to as “the girl” both in movie and in credits. But there was some good old fashioned comedy and the movie makes a good point about comedy being just as important as drama.

 

A Place in the Sun

Netflix summary: Dirt-poor George Eastman (Montgomery Clift) lands himself a factory job thanks to a well-to-do uncle’s largesse and has a tryst with co-worker Alice (Shelley Winters) to combat his loneliness. But he forgets the uncultured Alice when he becomes smitten with a stunning socialite (Elizabeth Taylor). Alice can’t forget George, however, because she’s expecting his baby. Their dilemma sets off a course of events that can only end in tragedy.

★★★★ Also on the AFI list, this movie does a fantastic job with suspense. Both me and my real-life boyfriend did a lot of yelling at George: “What about Alice, George! Don’t do that George!” Real-life boyfriend does not like how many downer movies are on the AFI list…and this movie is one of them. BUT if you’re like “what was the big deal about Elizabeth Taylor?” then you can find out because she’s 19 in this movie and va-va-voom!

 

Melancholia

Netflix summary: This inventive drama charts the disintegrating relationship between newly married twentysomething Justine and her sister, Claire, just as Earth hurtles toward certain collision with a newly discovered planet.

★★★★ Having watched this in the dead of a Washington state winter, I can attest to identifying heavily with the emotions, if not the actions, of the main characters in this movie. Stunningly beautiful set!

They call me Mr. Tibbs

[Number of movies rated as of 11/16/2015 is 1540]

I approach my 10th anniversary with Netflix and thus will be desperately attempting to achieve the goal I had when I originally signed up for the service: complete the AFI top 100 movies of all time list(s). This one makes 93/122.

In the Heat of the Night

Netflix summary: Black Philadelphia detective Virgil Tibbs helps a redneck Southern sheriff solve a murder in this riveting study in racism that still strikes a chord. Rod Steiger won a Best Actor Oscar for his turn as the put-upon lawman who comes to respect Tibbs.

★★★★ Virgil Tibbs deals with racism in a southern town while trying to investigate a homicide. I now understand the pop culture reference that was going on in this scene of The Lion King:

 

Action Movie Marathon

[Number of movies rated as of 5/20/2015 is 1504]

I’ve always considered myself something of an action movie expert–my dad only owned intense war movies and my mom wasn’t a fan of buying us Disney tapes; her favorite movies were The Godfather and Bladerunner. I grew up on a strange mix of 80s-90s action movies with a few exceptions that included Home Alone, Home Alone 2, and Jurassic Park (all violent, basically).

Demolition Man

Netflix summary: In the violent 1990s, a cop (Sylvester Stallone) catches a relentless killer (Wesley Snipes), and both end up in a cryogenic deep freeze. In the peaceful year 2032, the criminal emerges from his long chill and attacks the now crimeless California. Unable to stop the bloodshed, a “Big Brother” boss (Nigel Hawthorne) defrosts the murderer’s past nemesis, who struggles to adapt to the ways of a new world and a restless new partner (Sandra Bullock).

★★★ tl;dr it was awesome minus the Bechdel test failure (not many action movies pass that test). Bullock’s character is painful.

Mad Max

Netflix summary: In a postapocalyptic future, jaded cop Max Rockatansky (Mel Gibson) is ready to retire. But his world is shattered when a malicious gang murders his family as an act of retaliation, forcing a devastated Max to hit the open road seeking vengeance. As he travels the Australian outback’s empty stretches of highway, he tours the bloodstained battlegrounds ruled by marauding bikers who feed on violence.

★★★★ I hear they are making a re-make of this movie. (Need to go see the new one!) Update: the new version is incredible. For the first time probably since getting Netflix I went out and bought a copy. Must see.

Kickboxer

Netflix summary: When kickboxing champ Eric Sloane is crippled in the ring by the evil Tong Po, Eric’s younger brother, Kurt, seeks vengeance. But if he’s to vanquish Po, Kurt must first learn a martial art known as Muay Thai.

★★★ Van Damme is the king of 80s-90s action movies and this one is about average for what you expect. I feel like some of Kill Bill was pulled from this movie, but I could be wrong.

Con Air

Netflix summary: Newly released from prison, ex-con Cameron Poe finds himself on a transport plane that’s been hijacked by some of the most dangerous inmates in America. Cameron just wants to reunite with his wife and daughter, but the thugs have other plans.

★★★★ Once I watched Con Air I realized I’ve been missing out on one of the most actiony action movies ever! This movie has everything cheesey you could ever hope for, including Nicolas Cage with long hair that blows in the wind.

Divergent

Netflix summary: Born into a civilization in the distant future, Beatrice is a teenager who learns that her unique cognitive skills make her useful to the authorities. Over time she discovers that she’s a Divergent, and thus slated for elimination by the government.

★★★★ Not sure why I was instantly pulled into this movie, I do recall yelling to my actual-real-life-boyfriend (not Netflix, my true love), “Come here and watch this movie! It’s hot people doing hot things!!” We both thoroughly enjoyed it. Something so damn appealing about post-apocalyptic young adult trilogies I guess.

The Giver

Netflix summary: In a future society called The Community, pain, war and disease have been eradicated, as have individuality and free will. When a teenager named Jonas learns the truth about the real world, he must decide whether to reveal all or remain quiet.

★★★ Falls into the genre of started-as-a-YA-book about the distopian future in which we are all categorized into rigid identities. I have no problems with this genre. This movie also falls into the category of “wasn’t-as-good-as-the-book.” I remember reading The Giver as an eight-year-old and being completely mesmerized. The movie falls short of my expectations but still gets three stars.